On hard pivots
It’s pretty common for me to talk to people who are longing for - or feel the need for- a change.
This common truth becomes almost ridiculously predictable every fall. I wish y’all could know: it’s not just you, but almost everyone. And if it’s everybody, it means you’re not crazy. It means you’re on to something.
Some iterations:
people experiencing burnout
people feeling they know what they need, but have ‘somehow’ slipped, forgotten, or gotten off track
people feeling scared/anxious
people feeling fed up and hoping that if they find the right practice, everything will change
people feeling a little empowered because of an experience, and now wanting to ‘commit’ or ‘go all the way’
The experience is real. Taste it, savor it if you can. Let it teach you something about reality and who you are.
But I’d caution hard against sudden decisions, major life changes, trying to control your life though too many metrics (diet, exercise, finance, break ups, quitting your job or firing your in-laws).
Life will give you the changes, and the pivots. You don’t have to make them.
Rather than ultimatuming yourself, shaming yourself, or setting yourself up for failure, many of the traditional practices of this time of year are intended to be very short lived. Not new-life-path, but a reset. A couple of experiences, a couple of days, one afternoon or weekend of winterizing and putting away the summer.
If we give our body a couple of easy, short, consistant experiences with yoga āsana our body itself says: oh yeah, this feels like coming home.
If you give your body a day or two of massage, or bath, or naps, your life energy tells you how much it is still actually in there.
If you give yourself two or three meditation or mantra experiences, your intellect shouts out how fun and helpful it is.
If you go to a yoga class, or sit down with spiritual friends, or meet with a teacher, or spend ten minutes one morning reading spiritually nourishing texts, your being responds: “I LOVE this!”
Once this happens, we don't have to ‘discipline’ ourselves; instead, moving forward is fueled by knowing and love. We move on with love that knows and knowledge that is love - there are declensions there that are rich and soothing, stabilizing and true. Most love is blind and selfish, but not this kind. And most knowledge is flimsy, but not this kind.
Changing this way is much nicer than trying to hard pivot.
The next phase will happen naturally. You can’t even stop it if you tried.
Some traditional practices for fall/transition:
ten days of chanting a mantra you have previously studied
panchakarma or seasonal detox (specifically the way it is intended to be SHORT. This isn’t a new diet. It’s a very short period of time to let your system catch up and let go).
moon gazing/meditations. (This can be any noticing of the shifting light, and the intensity of moon in this season. It also has to do with remembrance and love-for-others, even those far away or passed.)
declutter and winterize
physically: warming, stabilizing, rhythmic. I tend to pare my practice down to emphasize balancing, inversion, and savasana.
intellectually: love, letting go. Which often requires a shift toward spiritual practices.
Meaty. Substantial. Bigger than you can chew. At first, this seems like the opposite of letting go. It isn’t really. It’s new notebook smell or a ball of yarn, a good book that isn’t escapist, but hearty. It’s the principle of nourishing yourself as a human being: prepping the larder in a sense. I’m not a gardener at all, and by extension have no capacity for pickling and jarring. But I’m good at making pies. Think thanksgiving, harvest festivals, soups, toasty warm things, ghee.
memorial services. go visit your dead and appreciate your own wizening. G said the other day ‘20 year old me would be so amazed by almost 50 year old me’. Own a little bit of that for yourself.
local: rather than far-flung or you going off on some vacation and pilgrimage, this is a season of homecoming. Support local schools or spiritual centers. Get neighborly. Volunteer. Make a local difference. Support small businesses. etc.
The most important thing
This is one of those that I spontaneously felt a need to say to a mentee who was over-planning, thinking, and worrying. I quickly needed to say it to five more people who were also stuck in debating themselves, procrastination, feeling ick about themselves. I have since come to realize is a Root Truth or principle:
Don’t worry about it.
Just do one thing today.
The power of that is irrefutable and gives you both clarity and courage and wisdom for the next thing.